Jeggings and Other Horrors

Please, please help me out here.

Why the jeggings?

Try not to concentrate on the fact that this particular woman hasn’t eaten since half-way through the Clinton administration and focus instead on my confusion. Why skin-tight jeans that aren’t jeans, with cuffs that squeeze all the blood out of one’s ankles?

I have man-calves. There. I said it. I am the girl who cannot find stylish leather boots that zip because that zipper will end up slicing into my man-calf. Instead I have to find boots made from scary, synthetic materials that are stretchy and smell funny because they were made in a laboratory in Guam. I am the girl who should have pursued gymnastics or professional calf raising competitions because my man-calves would LITERALLY crush the competition.

So leggings/jeggings are full-fledged danger zone for me. Can I get an amen out there? Or are you all the people who have lovely calves and delicate ankles? I have serious delicate-ankle-envy. And you should be a little scared of my anger because people with huge calves can be vicious when provoked.

Please tell me I’m not the only one. Jeggings be gone?

0 thoughts on “Jeggings and Other Horrors”

  1. Um … yes. Jeggings be gone. I'm actually in favor of losing leggings all together except for children. They just never work for me. I have man-calves, too. I had to buy boots 2 full sizes larger than what I typically wear just so that they didn't squeeze the life out of my legs. Sad. So sad.

  2. I am with you on the man calves! I can't find cute boots to save my life! Although…anything stretchy and acceptable to wear in a social setting….uh, I might have to say YES PLEASE! 🙂

  3. Amen!! It may be in our genes, I also have man calves. More accurately, I have fat man legs with industrial strength knees. I am thankful that my legs have carried me with ease through many years, up a few mountains and to the bottom of the Grand Canyon. BTW, jeggings are of the devil, just sayin…

  4. I actually had the circumference of my calves measured the other day in a doctor's office…faced with the horrifying hairy stubble and indentations left by by my socks,I'm desperately trying to explain the reason for their largeness is the cycle class I attend at the gym…to which he exclaims with relief, "well they are the same size, which is good news." Coming from a man who has neither been forced into jeggings or zip-up boots. (insert eye-roll). A hearty NO to skin-tight pants!

  5. leggings. aren't. pants. even when disguised as denim. that is how i feel. i will wear leggings under skirts, and happily, for they are comfy and they warm me as i stand outside for recess duty. but i will never ever wear them as pants.

  6. mka, I love the passion. And I agree with the comfort level, though I still have concerns about my ankles.

    Love the photo, too. Was this photo taken in reaction to this post? 😉 I share your ire.

    k

  7. My calves, though manly, are the least of my problems with the jeggings. My issue lies a bit farther north in the hip/buttock region. Still don't get the reason for the curve hugging fashion, especially on dudes.

  8. I love you! When I was much younger and cared about such things, I could NEVER find cute boots. I thought there was something WRONG with me. I thought my legs were UGLY. (Honestly, I thought *I* was ugly but that's another story altogether.) No joke: until I read this post I thought I was the only person who couldn't ever wear cute boots.

Leave a Reply to Jamie Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *