Field Day

Today is field day at our elementary school.

So I feel this is the time you should know these two things about me:

One: In first grade, I jumped the farthest in the long jump competition. I jumped six feet. I can feel through the Interweb your respect for me. And let’s face it: I deserve it.

Two: For years, I was the record holder at my junior high for longest SHOT PUT THROW.

Did you hear that?

I threw shot put.

Have you met me?

I’m not exactly the prototype for the shot putters among us.

Photo by Cameron Spencer/Getty Images

But I went to a junior high where the track team consisted of roughly 8.5 people, and that was when I wasn’t faking sick and staying home.

So at track meets, we all did everything. Our coach would insist it didn’t matter where we placed, just that we participated. We got points just for participating. It was track and field socialism.

At one meet, I remember doing long jump, throwing the shot put, running in the 4 x 100 and 4 x 200 relays, AND running the 200m hurdles. Prior to that afternoon, I had never run a hurdle in my lifetime. Coach just took me out to the middle of the field and showed me how, emphasizing the socialism piece and assuring me that it didn’t matter if I tripped in my spikes or when clearing a hurdle. My dad was a dentist and he would fix me all up, lickety split.

We did it all. It was a small school. We also had homemade uniforms, which were certainly intimidating to the other teams. That and our hair.

This is how I ended up throwing shot, getting a school record in shot, and then being harassed and ridiculed for roughly a decade about my shot record. Of course, now I really wish I would have stuck with it. I could use a little less mom-jiggle in ye olde upper arms these days.

So track and field day. Word on the street is that Thea is a speedster. Mitch has my man-calves, which will help him in all sorts of ways.

May the wind be at your back this weekend, dear readers. And may you get lots and lots of participation points for your team.

P.S. Hey! The print editions of my books are all up and rocking. They’re really pretty. I have some at my house. For instant cool factor, click on the covers to the left. Summer is upon us, people, and it’s time for a good read by the pool. OR you could buy all five and do some bicep curls, since you’re no longer throwing shot put. Read AND tone! What a deal!