My Treat

Are you in a sugar coma yet? My children are currently rappelling from ceiling to floor in the living room, only taking breaks to disco or do the Marcarena. I called my mom to ask about the combined six pounds of candy they harvested but she’d only giggle and say, “Haven’t you figured out that I’d throw half of it away while you were sleeping?” I’d feel violated but that idea is GENIUS.

Here are a few images from our week:

1. Our church hosts an enormous pumpkin party, complete with inflatables, costumes, games, a chemistry show, hay rack rides, bonfire—you get the drift. I volunteered one night. Guess where they put me?

That’s right. Security. I’m pretty sure it was because I’m super menacing and bouncer-ish. I was so primed and ready to bust people! You! Scooby Doo! Put down that extra Butterfinger! Stop right there, Hannah Montana in the bad wig! Shoes off in the inflatables! And listen, kid with fake blood and pretend appendages! Our flier specifically asked for NON-SCARY costumes. You get yourself home and change into Thomas the Train! Hup to!

The head of security, Dale, supported me in these efforts. Of course, he was wearing a turkey hat, so it was tough to respect those in authority over me.

End game: I didn’t get to bust ONE, SINGLE person. Everyone was so stinking nice and well-behaved. Maybe next year they’ll let me wear a headset, which is the clearest sign of power and a shoe-in for bust opportunities.

2. Happy end to scary eyeball incident: Mitch got glasses.

I defy you to find a cuter four-year-old human.

3. We tricked and treated. Our costumes:

The masked man (sans glasses) was Spidey/Mitch, who threw up a web sling to anyone in range. Thea, the bunny in the middle, seemed to be less enthusiastic about Halloween than her siblings. Also, her mother shoved her 14-month-old body into a 9-12-month costume. Third child. Ana’s current role models are high schoolers and Asians. All high schoolers are beautiful and all Asians are beautiful. If you are an Asian AND a high schooler, you should run for president. So Ana’s costume is officially called “Kimono Princess.” Unofficially, we call her Norwegian-Dutch But Aspiring Asian.

4. And what holiday would be complete without an appearance by Chuckles?

I also captured on video when Marc attempted to chase Chuck away with a broom. Marc came at the vermin only to be charged and eluded. Chuckles ran RIGHT TOWARDS HIM, around his legs and under the deck. “He’s a fullback!” Marc exclaimed, breathless. “It’s as if he trained for this, like a fire drill! He knew just what to do if approached by a man with a broom!” Unbelievable. I think he’s hibernating (Chuck, not Marc). My children are starting to think it’s normal to share one’s personal space with rodents.

Hope your own weekend was lovely. Here’s to “lost” candy that somehow finds its way to “Mom’s mouth.” I won’t tell if you don’t.

UPCOMING FUN THING: Have you heard of the group Mercy Me? They’re coming to Des Moines November 7 and will have a meet-and-greet at Connxions Bookstore in Urbandale. I’ll be there too, only I’m not famous. Stop by, but don’t dawdle. The band’s only there for 107 minutes, starting at noon.

FINDERS KEEPERS UPDATE: The boxes are shipped! The books looked great. Thanks to all the folks who are helping we out with this adventure. DON’T FORGET to send me your photo of Most Inspired Drop-Off and I’ll enter you to win the Grand Prize-O-Rama of goodies and lunch on me. E-mail me at kimberly@kimberlystuart.com before December 1,2009, to be entered.