New York, New York 2016

Marc and I went to New York a couple of weeks ago.

I have security clearance to talk about this now because we are no longer out of town and you can’t come rob our house. When you live with a conspiracy theorist, you have rules.

But he’s a very cute conspiracy theorist, so I play along.

Here are the highlights. And you don’t even have to come over for dinner and watch the slideshow!

1. I met my publisher. New York is the home of my new publisher, Skyhorse, so I was able to meet my team! I prepared for the meeting by working on blending in to New York culture. I’m pretty sure I nailed it.

I told the Skyhorse folks they would know me by my fanny pack. Because I’m from Iowa. I’m pretty sure they knew I was joking. (P.S. If you read this post, you will be relieved to know I did not take along my magenta portable urinal. I have my standards, people, and they are high.)

Here’s the team! Two Nicoles and one Bri, all of them delightful. I am old enough to be any of their mothers. They were polite enough to pretend not to notice and to carry my walker to the coffee shop.

For those of you wondering what the inside of a publishing house looks like, here you go. Two smiling editorial types and not one ounce of stress. I’m sure this was completely typical.

2. I renewed my hatred for Times Square. For those of you thinking about walking through this part of New York, do not. You’ll need to shower afterward. And join an monastery to clear your mind. The Naked Cowboy is always a bit jarring. I worry about him during New England cold snaps.

Also, word on the street is that Elmo tries to cop feels when taking photos. I kept my distance, though Marc was readying his ninja moves just in case.

But then he got distracted from protecting my honor and found great pants instead.

3. We went to some great shows. Here’s how we felt when we got rush tickets for The Color Purple.

Jennifer Hudson was delightful in her last week with the show, but can I tell you about Cynthia Erivo?

Photo by Norman Jean Roy

I don’t have enough ethereal adjectives to describe this woman. She is up for the Tony for best actress and she should win or there is no justice in the world. I want you to know Marc and I had to sit in the theater for about ten minutes AFTER the show to compose ourselves, we were so moved by her performance. I have never seen anything like it in all my days.

We also heard some ridiculously good jazz in Brooklyn. We love this guy, John Pizzarelli, and we are pretty much groupies. We also enjoyed meeting a Brooklynite named Babs (not joking) who wanted to tell us lots of things, and of course we listened and loved it and appreciated her pronouncement at the end that we were “a lovely couple.” Hand swish, toss of the wig, and she was gone.

4. We got some tips about real estate hunting in NYC. “Outdoor space” is a little different there.

5. We ate very, very well. Here, here, here, but let’s talk about The Food Sermon in Brooklyn. Um, I could crave this food every day of my life. The owner/chef, Rawlston Williams, is a theology-school drop-out, and I could write a bit about how his coconut-ginger sauce did something to my soul, but you probably won’t believe me.

At one point, the gentlemen who had talked us through what to order saw me swooning on my stool by the window. And they nodded, like they see The Swoon every day and not to worry about it. Comes with the Sermon.

Such a great trip. I do love that city. And I also love coming home. Because WE ARE HOME NOW. No need to try robbing us, okay? Marc is back and ninja-ish, so just be warned. And he’s wearing his new NYC palazzo pants, so if you weren’t deterred before, consider that visual.

Happy weekend, everyone!